Sunday, April 13, 2014

And I keep going...

4/7: Rest
4/8: Rest
4/9: 4 Miles, TM. 35+min (8:52 pace)
4/10: Rest
4/11:4 Miles, TM. 35 min (8:55 pace)
4/12: JM Extreme Workout; 20 sweaty min.

Impromptu workout: Cleaning induced rage. Countless hours.

4/13: Planned: 10 solo miles outside.
         UPDATE: 10 Miles, outside. 1:32 (9:14 pace)

Total weekly mileage: 18 (wah wah)

So, I guess I only blog on Sunday mornings before sunrise? Not sure what's going on with that, but let's go with this for now.

My running buddy is out of town so I'm on my own this morning. All of my long runs outside have been done with company, and while it has been nice, I haven't really pushed myself when it comes to pace. Mostly this is due to the fact that I simply cannot have a decent conversation (read: breathe) when I'm running "faster". I've enjoyed all of the long runs with D so far, and I'll definitely be lonely on today's jaunt, but it will also force me to pick up the pace a bit and focus on my breathing, form, fueling, etc. We've become pretty good friends over the course of the last few months but I still feel a little.. apologetic? When we are running together because I know she can go faster. She insists that our runs/pace is perfect for what it is (the long slow run with conversation) but I can't help but feel like I may be holding her back. After all, this is her "come back" run, after her half and full marathon in her early 20's. But anyways, I have to keep reminding myself to stop being ridiculous and enjoy the run with my friend. She wants to run with me too, so I should just stop worrying, right? Right.

Not to make excuses here, but we've had a lot going on around here the last few weeks, so it's no surprise that this week has been light on the running. I've also attempted to be a little lighter on the eating. I finally weighed myself a few days ago... and let's just say, I haven't seen that number since, um, I was pregnant? I mean.

Just... I mean... That baby is now 5. 

The candy/sugar/baked goods situation is no longer welcome in my midsection, or as I like to lovingly refer to it is, Herman. Apparently Herman is a lot like my middle child - persistent, stubborn, and in a neverending growth spurt.

Anyways, time to get ready for my run. I see the sun peeking out, so that's my cue!

***

Some 10-12 hrs later...

Garmin splits, people.

Split
Time
Distance
Avg Pace
Summary1:32:45.010.009:14
19:10.11.009:10
29:12.91.009:13
39:12.31.009:12
49:14.81.009:15
59:13.81.009:14
69:24.61.009:25
79:24.31.009:24
89:24.91.009:25
99:17.01.009:17
108:56.61.008:57
11:02.40.009:00

2 power gel candies, 1 vanilla bean gu at mile 5, and handheld water bottle.
Awesome..ly painful chafe mark on my chubby right bicep. Chubs McGee.

My overall pace was surprising to me, in a good way surprising, because every mile was a mental battle. However, I can definitely tell that I have lost a lot of fitness over the last couple of months. Holding a pace of 9 ish minutes felt like lugging boulders strapped to my ankles. Admittedly, I let myself stop a few times for a water break/pep talk. Each mile was a ridiculous mind game. I guess that only what happens when I leave the music at home. Running in silence = a lot of solo internal conversations.

Mile 1: ah, fresh air. Crisp morning.

Mile 2: Da fuq! I hate this. 

Mile 3: Da fuq! For real! I hate this even more. 

Maybe I'll just run home. 

*slogging past donut shop*

I wish I could stop for some donuts. Ugh. Those donuts are what is making this 
difficult. 

Shut it, self. Donuts are not the enemy.

Mile 4: Running is the enemy 

Mile 5: (water stop) Running's not so bad! I forget how delicious gu tastes! 

Mile 6: Tired. Yes, I'm tired. 

Mile 7: ok. 3 more miles. I can do this... I can do this! I think...

Mile 8: *stop to regroup* 

Ok, two miles. I can do this. I can do this! I think...

I wonder if John is awake. I wonder if he'd come get me. 

Shut it, Bang and keep moving these tree stumps of yours.

Mile 9: Almost there! I'm so tired!  Am I even moving? Good lord, I've been out here for hours! Days even! 

Mile 10: Almost done! Almost done! Should I just do 11? Maybe... No... Should I? Nah.. Maybe? ... Aaand 10. Beep! Done! 

That wasn't so bad... 
I could have done 11. Maybe I should have done 11? Hmm, I guess 10 is fine. Maybe I'll do 11 next time. Maybe...

Ah, I feel so good. I love running. 

***

Someone should open up a mental institution for runners, because I feel pretty crazy.



Sunday, April 6, 2014

Is this thing on?

What happens to a "Training Blog" when you stop properly training...

*Chirp chirp*

.........

Yup.

Nothing.

I honestly cannot remember the last time I had the urge, or really, the need to blog about my weeks here. I made a pretty valiant attempt to get myself back in the running game a few weeks ago and then, 

I didn't. 

I just went back to check and see the date of my last post - March 10th. That feels like light years ago. I've still been running but mostly inconsistently;  my weekly mileage has swung from 25 to 12

I mean, 12... is actually the amount of miles I'm supposed to run today... in about an hour. And yes, it's 5:26 on a Sunday morning, in case you're wondering. 

So, I won't recap my runs from 3/10 until last week, since it would take effort for me to look back at my Garmin/IFit and record it all (usually it's done during the same week so I have them fresh in my mind. 

I've decided to just do my best up until May 4th, and then just see how the half goes. This is not going to be a goal race for me, mostly since I've stopped caring about it. I would like to say I am one of those people who generally uses running as a therapy and an escape from life, but right now it's become just another added stress among other unforeseeable and uncontrollable life events. 

So, this is what I've got so far

Morning weekday runs done at 5am instead of 4. Thanks to daylight savings, 4 am is no longer a viable option for me.. because I am not quite alive at this time of day. 

3/31: 4 Miles, outside. Phoebe Buffay style, 35+min (8:57 pace)
4/1: Rest
4/2: 6 Miles, TM. 52 min (8:45 pace)
4/3: 3 Miles, TM. 25+min (8:26 pace)
4/4: Rest
4/5: 4 Miles, TM. (34+Min. 8:36 pace)
4/6: 12 Miles, TBD... (EDITED: 12 Miles, Outside. 1:58. 9:51 pace)
       Slow and Steady.

Total weekly mileage: 29 miles

***

Running, I want to love you again. Will you take me back? Let's give it one more shot. But this time, let's take it slow. 

Real slow*... 


*pun perhaps intended


Monday, March 10, 2014

It's about time, you say...

After yesterday's bitch-fest, I can finally say that I'm done.

DONE.

Done whining, wallowing in self doubt and pity.

No. More.

No more self indulgent laments from me.
No more complaining, whimpering, cowering.

Done.

Time to toughen up, put on the big girls, and get to it.

I swear.

Saturday, March 8, 2014

Pity, Party of One

2/24: Rest
2/25: 3 cautious miles, TM. 29 min (9:41 pace). NTC, 15 min. Vinyasa Rush Studio
2/26: 6 Miles w/ friend. Outside. 58 min (9:41 pace)
2/27: Skipped Rest
2/28: Skipped Rest
3/1: 10 Miles (2TM - 18 min, 8 outside with friend: 1:17 (9:41 pace)
3/2: Rest

3/3: Rest
3/4: 6 Miles, TM. 53:55 (8:59 pace)
3/5: Rest
3/6: 6 Miles, TM 54:09 (9:01 pace) - Ran under JB's IFit profile, so I did not get the 6 mi credit to my profile. Mild. Rage.
3/7: Skipped Rest
3/8: 10 Miles (8 w/ friend - 1:18. TM - 18min

3/9: 5 Miles, TM. 44:54 (8:59 pace)
      *added Sunday 3/9


***

So. Maybe I'm a little behind on my blogging? Not that much of excitement has been happening. Lots of not running, skipped training days, and flying as my main mode of transport, via the flapping.

The last couple of weeks have been quite the mental challenge. During the my last training cycle, I felt

Strong.
Confident.
Able.

This training, my third, has felt very different. I feel

Weak
Discouraged.
Doubtful.

After my week 2 debacle, I thought I'd be totally ready to get back into training mode - with 4 am wake ups, early morning weekend runs and at least two days of strength thrown in there. I felt so ready to be bad ass again.

That didn't last very long.

I juggled my days around so my first run back after my week break was not a 6 mile tempo run, and instead eased back in with 3 easy treadmill miles, followed by some NTC 15 min yoga. I felt strong, and felt confident that I could pick up right where I had left off.

I was off of work the next day, so I arranged to run some easy miles outside with my neighbor friend. The weather was beautiful, the warm sun was beating down on us, and we ended up running 6 miles. She even ran with a stroller, with nary a complaint. The miles flew by and I felt great.

Then, Thursday.

The wheels started to fall off. I skipped my Thursday run. Skipped my Friday make up run.
And then came Saturday. Rough 8 miles outside with my friend (2 miles on the treadmill prior to meet up).

Slog slog slog.

Determined to start week 4 with a better attitude, I woke up on Tuesday, banged out 6 solid miles, 3 of those at GHMP, and had a great rest of my day. Woke up Thursday, ran 6 more solid miles, and felt less horrible about myself fine. I was fine. FINE.

Then, today. 10 miles total, 8 with D. We started out at a solid, easy 9:30-ish pace and just got slower and more painful steady. She even so kindly offered to cut it short if I wasn't feeling like running the entire 8. I figure if she could tolerate my whining, I could at least run the mileage she needed to hit for training. We ended right at 8 miles, and then walked the rest of the way home. I jumped on the treadmill for 2 more once I got home to reach a total of 10 for today.  Honestly, without having her with me the last two weekends, I'm not sure if I would have even ran. I definitely would have skipped today's run had it not been for making a run date with her. Lately, my motivation and confidence has been severely lacking.

***

Even after all of this time, I still struggle with the bipolar nature that is running. I have days where I feel invincible and can go on for miles and miles. There are also days where I feel like quitting as I'm running out of my cul-de-sac.Some days, a 9:30 pace will feel like I am climbing up Mt. Everest. Other days it will feel easy and effortless. Some of those contrasting runs will happen within the same week.

Honestly, I am really struggling.. I have no answers. No magic formula for when/if I will ever feel like I am progressing. Right now I feel like I am getting slower, fatter, whinier.

I know this feeling is fleeting and that my hard work and training will come to fruition. I need just trust in the training. Trust in myself. Trust in all of this.

But, right now, I'm just... struggling.


Sunday, February 23, 2014

Shaking it off

2/17: NTC, To The Core, 15 min.
         NTC Full Stretch Guide, 15 min

2/18-2/21: NOTHING REST

2/22: Jillian Michaels Yoga Meltdown, 30 min
         NTC, Ab Burner, 15 min.

2/23: Rest?

This week has been filled with so much flapping and dramatics.

And I'm sorry.

I woke up Monday with mildly sore hip and the pain continued to spread as the week went on. I fretted over whether or not to run, but I decided to let my mind body win this particular fight, and stayed off my feet all week. As some of you can read in my previous post, it wasn't pretty and I was kiiind of ridiculous.

Saturday, I decided to (sadly) skip my long run with my friend, and instead did the hottest workout among the injured set.

YOGA

*Yawns*

Luckily, anything with the words "Jillian Michaels" in the title always proves to be the opposite of boring, and I was able to get a pretty good workout during the 30 minute session. I ended with 15 minutes of NTC abs, and came to the very obvious conclusion that I need a lot of work on my mushy kangaroo pouch core.

Also, proof that the JM Yoga was an ass kicker - my shoulders are s-o-r-e from all the chaturanga.

Taking today off again, as my hip is not feeling 100%, but I am chalking some of it up to using muscles that had previous been in hibernation. Again, another reason to XT/Strength train AND  run, not one or the other. Or just the other (run).

I am pretty sure I'm confusing my muscles (Sore butt! Sore. Butt)  but I've actually heard muscle confusion is a good thing, right?

Learnings from this week: 

Listen to my body. No, really. LISTEN.
Rest is good for your body. Embrace the rest sans the flapping.
Strength and cross training is a MUST.
So is stretching.
Food is fuel, and my friend. Time to stop eating all the things my feelings.

And with that?

Namaste'

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Doing it all wrong

Well.

This week has royally sucked donkey balls. 

My speech, it is eloquent. 

Anyways, I had a great first training week and was excited for week 2. However, my body had other plans. Monday's rest/xt session consisted of two 15 min NTC workouts, which meant I was thoroughly stretched and ab'd for the next few days. Also, three days post workout? 

Still sore.

*whine alert*

{Prepare the ice packs for your eyes, for the spraining of the retina will soon likely occur}

I woke up on Sunday morning and squeezed in four easy miles on good ol' Barry. During the first mile or so I started to feel a little tight in my left hip but figured i I was just sore from the previous days run. My hip continued to mildly nag the rest of the day, so I was glad to have the Monday rest day to give my body some time to forgive me. 

Monday, the pain continued to be just irritating  enough that I started become more concerned, concocting all sorts of what-ifs in my head;

What if:
It's ITBS!
It's bursitis!
It's broken! My hip is broken! 
It's my body's my body doesn't work!
I need a hip replacement! I'm too young! God, do you hear? Too young! 
I will never be able to run. Ever. Again.

Waht. Wahhhhh

After a self CLAM DOWN moment, I decided to do what every level headed runner/athlete does when facing possible injury.

GTS.

I Googled That Shit.

After much detailed research googling, I determined... *Bursitis! Because I have always had this weird hip click issue when I walk and I had remembered that my former workout queen coworker had mentioned it a few times in the past, and if she suffered from it, it was real! And therefore, it must apply to me too!

Someone, get me a medical license and a white jacket.

I spent most of Tuesday lamenting over my running woes - I had missed my Tuesday run, which was 7 miles, 4 of those at 10k pace, so a tempo run of sorts. I had strangely been looking forward to it, but know I made the best decision to sleep in rest/skip. But this meant spending most of my Tuesday hand flapping over the lost weekly miles. Such rationale. So much flappy-ness. 

Wednesdays are always rest/opt 3 miles, and while I was tempted to squeeze in 3 easy, I decided it was probably a better idea to make dinner for my children instead. 

The sacrifices I make.

So here we are, Thursday. 0 miles run for this week. In the grand scheme of things, I know Elizabeth talked me off the ledge with her wise medical knowledge/ injury prevention and necessary strong arming I am making the smartest choice to stay off the roads/''mill and let my body figure itself out. 

In the meantime, I've just whined for an entire post about it, and maybe some of you lasted long enough to read to the end. 

I am sorry. 

I know it's just a minor thing, and realize without being smart and listening to the internet... other people my body, this injury had/has the potential to get worse. 

So.

I rest.


*tucks hands under armpits to resist the flapping*

*probably not bursitis. I don't know exactly what it is but I have an ice pack with me to keep at my desk today. Hoping the trip of ice/roll/rest will do the trick. That, and whining. 

Sunday, February 16, 2014

TCM Training Week 1 Recap

2/10: Rest
2/11: 4 miles + 4x20 strides (Total: 4.5 miles, 40min. 8:52 pace)
2/12: Rest
2/13: 6 Miles ttl (2mi wu, 3@GHMP, 1mi cd) - 54+min (9:05 pace)
2/14: Rest
2/15: 8 Miles ttl (1mi TM - 9:18 pace). Easy 7 Mi outside, 1:12 
2/16: 4 Miles + 4x20 strides (Ttl: 37 min. 8:45 pace)


Week 1 Total : 4 Days Run, 22 Miles. 3 days Rest

Weeks. 1 down, 11 more to go! 

I was not so secretly dreading this week, because by now everyone knows what training time means.

Training = 4AM.

OOF.

It's been months since I've woken up regularly to do anything other than pee and go back to bed. But when the alarm went off on Tuesday, I was exhausted ready. I figure I could ease into the training with 4 easy miles, right? Right.

Sure.

I made it through the four miles, and then felt justifiably smug the rest of the day. *I* had already gotten my sweat on and my endorphins flowing before some people's alarm had even gone off.

Wednesday's plan was to rest or run 3 miles, and I had every intention of running, and yet... the temptation to rest, it is always so strong!

Thursday's early wake up was a little harder than Tuesday, but I chalk that up to an eternal work week and my MIL general home busy-ness. 

Friday was Valentine's Day, so I rested!

That's not true. I just like resting.

Saturday was exciting and new because I finally stopped being weird about running with my fit, athletic neighbor friend and just did it. And you know what? 

It was fantastic!

I can't believe I waited so long to accept her many invitations to run together. Admittedly, I have been very intimidated to run with anyone other than JB, and have been especially nervous about running with D, since she is a seasoned runner with a full marathon already under her belt, and she works out regularly and played college basketball, so I know she is in very good shape. We kept the pace very easy, and just chatted and chatted for 7 easy miles. The time flew by faster than any other time I've run with anyone, even with JB. My plan called for 8 miles and hers for 7 (she's training for the same race!) so I ran 1 warm up mile on the treadmill before I picked her up. 

We started off reaaal slow and steady. And kept it slow and steady. Reaaaal slow. Reaaal steady.  I think neither of us cared about pace, but focused on keeping moving and mostly, catching up on life!

I think my Garmin was confused because it's been a very long time since my miles have been that slow but like I said, I didn't care. There is something to be said about just taking your time and enjoying the miles. And that we certainly did. We already made plans to run together for our long runs next Saturday, and I can't wait!

So, week 1, I"m done with you. Tomorrow is a Rest: XT or Core day and I definitely think I'll keep it light. My left hip is feeling a little tight, so I'm typing this right now while sitting with an ice pack wedged under my butt.  Multitasking at its finest.