How'd I get here...

4/14-4/20: Siiiiick . So siiiiick.

4/21-4/25: ? No idea

4/26: 6 miles, outside. 57+ min. 9:30-ish pace

4/27-present: Nada

***

Wait.

Whahappen...

Oh. Yes, I got sick with the 2014 spring version of the Black Plague. I was laid out a week ago with body aches, fever and chills. This ended up derailing the end of my pseudo training, at the same time starting off my taper week(s?) with quite the bang. 

And now here I am, 4 days until the half. And I have run a total of 0 miles in the last week. 

And I'm ok with that.  

Surprising, isn't it?  Most everyone knows how ridiculously hand flappy I get just missing a run or two during the weekday. But this time, I'm just accepting that I've done what time and opportunity has allowed me until this point. What more can I do. *shrugs*

I was able run an easy 6 miles with my friend this past Saturday and despite missing a full week of runs, my legs felt decent and our run/chat pace was the same as other weeks. 

Also, the family went in a mini getaway in the beginning of this week, and more inactivity followed. Gloriously relaxing inactivity and family time.

But. Now I'm back. Back to the grind we refer to as Life.

I'm trying to learn to not be so hard on myself, because truthfully - while we tend to reassure each other that no one will judge us or care about our performance -  that's not wholly truth. Everyone judges in their own ways - some will always want to know your time, your average pace, your training, your diet, etc. if not to feed some sort of competitive drive, to fulfill a natural curiosity about others' abilities compared to our own.

I admit, I do it all the time.

What is true is that I am working on growing to the point of giving no shits about what anyone may think of me. It's always going to be a work in progress, as is with everything in life, but I'm going to work on doing my best, running my hardest, and or once, just letting myself enjoy the ride. Maybe I'll even try smiling while I run.

Ugh. 

Or not.

Smiling. So much work.

But maybe I'll give it a shot. I owe myself some slack. And maybe even a little credit.